These days I discover depths of myself that I thought inexistent. Maybe I never dared to look deep enough to see. These days I startle myself when I do a hundred, in spite of the boiling pressure breathing down my neck. I think, how am I able to rally myself into one piece while my mind is in a million fragments inside my head? These days I feel like I betray my old self when I do not get offended. I wonder how on earth I have become so tolerant, or patient, or understanding, so that I can make excuses for random falters. I find out everyday that I am gradually moulting into someone else… And this someone else, I love.
Write poetry on my palms
that my touch may give life.
Burry rainbow seeds in my mouth
that I would one day be a forest of colours.
Show me my feet
so they can dance to the rhythm of wisdom.
Quicken my walk and abate my run
let me trot in a perfect symphony.
Teach me to earn a fraction of your endless excellence.
Tonight I am simply reminded of how much of a debtor to myself I am.
I am reminded that I can’t go to bed with a mind at rest until I have scribbled some words together. Since I owe myself day27 of the writing challenge. I am also called to the fact that I have to make do with scrambles from random restaurants since I owe myself a healthy homemade meal.
And mostly, I bear in mind that I carry about a throbbing headache and weary eyes because I owe myself a stretch of hours of good sleep.
So let me go back to clearing all of tonight’s debts before tomorrow comes in with its.
I don’t want to paint a sketchy gratitude note on the canvas of ‘words-are-not-enough’. In fact, I have a host of words in a thousand languages to express the bounty of thank yous I have to say. But unfortunately, my keyboard only types in English. So thank you very much,
For my heart still sits in my chest, generating it’s own electricity and pulsation, without my effort. For my eardrums can rally beautiful music from the host of sound waves that travel back and forth the earth. For the volumes of air that pour over my lungs each minute without my knowing. For everything else that I know and do not know to be thankful for, Dear God, thank you so much.
I know your heart is heavy.
That is why you drag yourself like a bag of stones across the world with a tinge of sadness on your face.
I know you carry within you a dark cloud, and a violent storm whirls inside your belly.
I know that you hurt for the breaks you can’t fix, and the tears you can’t patch.
I hope you realize that the world can’t fit into your tiny chest. And that your shoulders are too feeble to hold up the earth.
So let go of this weight that slowly buries your life. Shake of this darkness that has swallowed your smile. Open your eyes and pick up the best part of you.
If you have to live life once, it should be the best of you.